The Curse of the Braces
by We-have-problems
Summary: Hermione has had enough, it is time to extract her revenge on one Draco Malfoy! Crack, oneshot,


**The Curse of the Braces**

**Hogwarts Library, 1996:**

In a dark corner of the Hogwarts library, Hermione Granger sat quietly, bent over a parchment, scribbling furiously, the only light the lantern beside her, planning her revenge. How dare that piece of Slytherin scum, that blond bleach head call her a mudblood, AGAIN! She was sick and tired of it, and now it was time for revenge.

She used all her knowledge in spell creation, arithmancy, and ancient runes to craft the spell. The perfect spell which would humiliate him above anything he had ever had happen to him.

The next day Hermione bundled herself up in her ski clothes and mask so she would not be recognized. You may ask why she brought ski clothes to school, the truth was that Trelawny had told her not to, so she did the opposite of her teacher said. She crept through the shadows, following him all around that day. Luckily for her it was a Saturday, so she wouldn't miss any school work. She was a ninja, sneaking in the shadows, never seen or heard.

Finally she saw her chance to strike. He was alone in a dark corridor in the dungeons

.

Uttering a war cry of, "For television!" she leapt out and screamed, "Bracium Faceous!" while moving her wand in a horizontal zigzag.

She saw him double over in pain, but she didn't look back, she ran all the way back to Gryffindor tower.

* * *

><p>Draco Malfoy had plans for sixth year. No, really he had a checklist.<p>

**Kill Dumbledore**

**Annoy mudbloods**

**Bully first year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs**

**Check to make sure his hair is okay after all this hard work**

What he had not planned however was the figure in poofy clothing following him around all day. They were so obvious, in bright yellow puffed out clothing and making ninja sounds? They were as subtle as an elephants.

Draco paid this no mind though, he thought they were an admirer. After all, who wouldn't want to look at his beauty?

After dinner Draco starting walking back to the dungeons, and the figure leapt out at him yelling something about telvubon? He grew scared and tried to run, but the poofy demon shot him with a spell.

His mouth felt like someone was pulling and ripping apart at his teeth. When he could finally stand up again he saw that he looked normal, but then he felt his teeth.

They were covered in something! He rushed to a conveniently positioned mirror and gazed at his once beautiful sparkly teeth in shock!

Someone had covered his pearly whites in hideous silver contraptions! The only purpose he could think of would be to fight off werewolves, but that seemed highly illogical.

Then Draco remembered a muggleborn he was bullying talking about these contraptions. No one could ever see this, the Malfoy family would be shamed and disgraced for all eternity. He vowed never to open his mouth again.

Unfortunately this was harder than he originally thought. For one thing Pansy wouldn't stop bugging him, and he couldn't tell her to go away. He was okay his classes, but outside of them, Pansy would just SHUT UP!

Finally he had it and just told her to Shut her fracking mouth. She took one look at her mouth and screamed. He had to take a few minutes to calm her down and explain the situation. She seemed surprised at his description of the poofy-clothed stalker, but didn't say anything.

Pansy asked about other side effects,and Draco immediately started complaining about the how food got caught in them, and how they hurt so badly he couldn't eat properly.

Pansy gave him one looked and then she struck a super-hero pose and yelled, " We must inform the Dark Lord at once!"

She collapsed onto the sofa and pulled up her left sleeve to reveal the snake and skull mark. She tried pressing it, and nothing happen. She pushed the mark again, harder this time, and the only thing that came out was a robotic female voice that said, "Dark Mark not available, connect to the Wizarding Wireless."

Draco started crying and said, with a lisp, "There's no reception!"

Pansy hit Draco on the head and said, "Stop being a baby we will just go up to the astronomy tower."

After a long climb they managed to reach the tower and Draco looked around thought, "This would be a nice place to kill Dumbledore." He took out his checklist and added next to Dumbledore's name **Astronomy Tower**.

Soon they were able to connect the Wizarding Wireless and activate the Dark Mark. Draco immediately began talking, "Sir Lord Voldemort Sir! Your faithful servants Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson have found a mysterious curse!"

There was a pause on the other end before Lord Voldemort said, "Come Hither to."

The two Slytherin ran outside the wards and portkeyed away. Voldy-shorts was sitting on his throne with pink bubbles on his head like a crown. He looked at them and yelled, "Hello, you interrupted my bath, how are you today, CRUCIO!"

After about ten minutes of the crucio curse Draco and Pansy stood up and said, "Good sir.". Voldie asked about the torture device, and when Draco showed him his teeth Voldemort leaped out of his throne and hid behind the chair.

In the small part of the monster's mind that was still Tom Riddle, he remembered the device, he had seen children have it in his orphanage as a child. He remembered the fear on their face worse than any crucio when someone mentioned..the dentist.

"Who did this to you!" Voldie demanded, and Draco had to, again, talk about the spell and stalker.

"Magic and Muggle have combined to create this monstrosity of a device, come here Draco we must remove them," then Voldie dearest began shooting spells at Draco.

**2** **HOURS LATER**

Draco Lucius Malfoy sat in the Dark Lord's throne room. With a four meter long tongue, neon pink spiky hair, yellow skin, purple sparkly beard, and green fairy wings. Nothing that Voldemort had tried had worked.

Now, the Dark Lord is known for his temper, so finally he gave a scream and shout the teeth-ejecting curse at Draco. The braces came off along with all his teeth.

"There," The Dark Lord said," I fixed it."

Pansy and Draco went back off to hogwarts, and not really knowing what to do they went to the infirmary.

The only people there were that mudblood Hermione Granger and Madame Pomfrey. Granger was holding a camera and laughing gleefully, while the Madame asked what happened.

"We were...attacked!" Pansy said,"By evil pixies who hexed Draco and stole all his teeth!"

Madame Pomfrey told his to wait there while she got the skele-gro. She made Pansy and that Granger mud-blood leave. What was she doing there anywho?

Draco then began using his brain to think. Dentist…..where had heard that word….it hadn't been in Slytherin, maybe it had been when he was bullying someone. Suddenly it struck him like a bolt of lightning. GRANGER! Her parents were dentists! This must be her fault.

He stared in shock, she created the spell not even the Dark Lord could break, with this knowledge and all the spells put together he gave up and fainted.

Madame Pomfrey came back in, "Poor dear," she said, "How did he get himself into this mess."

* * *

><p><strong>Later That Night in the Gryffindor Common Room:<strong>

Ron and Harry were once again playing chess next to the fire, or, more accurately, Harry was losing, once again, in chess.

"Knight to C5," Ron said. Harry sighed, just once couldn't he win? Then the portrait hole swung open and Hermione came through grinning like mad and laughing hysterically.

Both boys glanced at each other, should they say anything?

Finally Harry gained the courage and asked her, "Hermione? What's so funny?"

"Oh Harry, I just got my revenge on our favorite ferret."

Suddenly, both boys were up asking her what she did, and when she showed them the pictures they almost died laughing. They all sat down together by the fire as Hermione told them all about her brilliant plan and when she was done Ron smirked. "Well 'moine," he said, "you are the most brilliant witch of our age."

The End


End file.
